Yesterday’s article covered why you might feel anxious when speaking Italian.
So today, let’s take a look at a few techniques which could help you feel more confident.
Be realistic
Obviously, if you go into any conversation expecting to be as able as you would be when speaking your own language, you’re likely to be disappointed.
Accept that you’re not going to understand everything that’s said.
And that expressing yourself in Italian will be harder and more limiting than in your mother tongue.
Try to consciously take a different approach to a conversation in Italian than to one in your mother-tongue. For example…
Listen more
I’m one of life’s talkers. Some might say I like to rant…
But that’s a lot harder to do in Italian.
One easy way to handle conversations in a foreign language, if you know that you’re not going to be able to ‘be yourself’, is to to listen more.
Start conversations by asking open questions (questions which don’t have a yes/no answer): ‘What do you like/dislike about your job? ‘What’s your home town like?’
Then encourage other people to do more of the talking with comments like: “That’s really interesting”, “Why is that, do you think?”, or “Tell me more about that…”
The more they talk, the less you have to.
And everyone loves a good listener!
Keep it short and simple
Conversations work best when participants take turns to speak.
If you’re struggling to conjugate something complicated, it’s possible you might hold things up and thus begin to try people’s patience.
One solution is to ‘break up’ what you want to say into smaller, more manageable chunks.
For instance, instead of:
“One of the main reasons I started to study Italian was the fact that I’ve been an opera fan for decades”
you might try:
“I like opera.”
“So…”
“I’m studying Italian”
“To understand operas”.
If you listen carefully to conversations in your own language, you’ll find they tend to be rather like that anyway.
People don’t always speak in perfectly articulated sentences, so why complicate things by trying to?
Smile and nod
But the main problem with speaking Italian is not the speaking.
Learn to ask “Excuse me, can you tell me the way to the station?” and you’ll then be faced with the problem of understanding the reply.
Which can be a hell of a lot harder.
What the other person says is completely out of your power to control.
Have you noticed that some Italians are easier to understand than others?
We often assume that the problem is accent, or dialect, but in reality it’s more to do with the speaker’s attitude.
There’s a knack to talking to someone who’s using a foreign language.
And if your interlocutor hasn’t had much experience talking to foreigners, they probably don’t have it.
With the best will in the world, they may complicate things by using idiomatic expressions, or by trying to help you with long explanations, which often just make things worse.
Things can quickly get out of hand…
The thing to remember though, is that much of what is said is not likely to be of any real importance.
In conversations, people say all sorts of nonsense.
So if you just smile and nod encouragingly, you’ll probably be fine.
(Anything that’s really important will probably be repeated anyway.)
Try this ‘smile and nod’ technique: you’ll be surprised how effective it can be!
Practice makes perfect
In the end, making conversation is something that you learn to do in your own language only after many years of practice.
So, why would speaking Italian be different?
You’ve got to put in the hours. Start at the bottom, then work your way up.
But don’t worry!
The more practice you get, the easier it will become.
You need to give it time.
P.S. Watch out for the launch of our new online Italian conversation groups. Enrollments open on Monday. More details tomorrow.
LV says
Great article, as always!
There really is a HUGE difference in speaking to people who have had experience talking with foreigners over those who have not. I’ve been on both sides of the conversation, and by simplifying and cutting out idiomatic expressions, it makes it a lot easier for the non-native speaker to understand speech. I wish more people understood this.
Daniel says
Comes with experience I think, LV.
Guess that’s the point about foreign languages. That they’re, well, foreign.
They do say that the second, third, etc. foreign language you study are easier than the first.
And the same is probably true for communicating with foreigners. You meet people who work in tourist resorts, for example, who seem to have an amazing ability to communicate with (and sell things to) people of many different nationalities.
In reality, of course, they are probably saying the same few things again and again, albeit in many different languages. The knack, presumably, is to be strongly incentivized (through increased earning power) to pick up the necessary phrases and use them without embarrassment.
Then of course there’s the issue of WHAT is being said. Someone selling something in a tourist resort is probably communicating something really obvious and easy to guess, such as “Camel ride, 20 dollars”.
Whereas someone with a less clear communicative purpose (someone friendly you meet in a bar, for example), might be trying to say anything under the sun, and thus are likely to be harder to predict (and so to understand), as well as less practiced…
Pamela says
Yes, yes, yes! Telegraphing warmth, friendliness, openness by smiling and nodding and maintaining eye contact so that you communicate “I am listening” goes a long way towards being included in the social sphere which helps enormously in having the will to continue. I find letting myself go into the sounds and experiences of Italian – even when at times I have had only a scant idea what is going on – really helps with learning too. Eg – streaming Italian radio or TV if out of the country, or if in Italy being in conversation, even small ones with the barista, newsagent or greengrocer.
There is the learning you know you are doing – when you remember a word or can successfully use the right tense of the verb or whatever. Then there is the learning you don’t know you are doing or how you did it – when it just comes out right enough because it just did.
Many is the time in conversation I have been smiling, nodding, listening and thinking in my head ‘sometime soon I am going to have to say something… let’s see, what will it be… first person, present indicative, ‘-ire’ verb etc etc” only to just blurt something out when my turn rolls around. Getting it “wrong” maybe. But due to the First Principle of Flow (which I just made up) the other person gets it enough that the conversation goes on. I relax, return to smiling, nodding and listening. And so forth. Piano piano.
If you manage to let go enough of a certain kind of control – eg – needing to understand everything and seem intelligent, and go with the flow, it is better. Listen to the music of the speech, don’t dwell on your nervousness or mistakes, congratulate yourself for keeping going! And yes, keep smiling and nodding.
PS – the reason I write this stuff is because I have only in fairly recent times made these breakthroughs myself. and I am excited and positive to have done so!
Daniel says
I like the ‘First Principle of Flow’, Pamela!
It’s a sort of ‘virtuous circle’ – the more you focus on the ‘fitting in’ with others in the conversation, the more you get included, with more kindness, so the more you are able to participate, and the more you learn. Which, of course, makes it easier the next time.
The increased self-confidence, and the relationships or friendships, help too!
July Rice says
Maintaining eye contact, nodding and smiling are all very well, but you can end up as a nodding doll with dry teeth and fixed expression. Sooner rather than later,. the person talking to you will recognize in your eyes that you are not understanding. Best thing, secondo me, is to ask the person, *Repete, per favore; no ho capito tutto!*
July
Emily says
Ciao a tutti!
I love this article, I really really really need more confidence when speaking Italian. Really you need to make many mistakes and embarrass yourself every now and then to learn I suppose?
A few years ago I travelled in Italy and had no problem trying to make conversation and really enjoyed it. When I went home however I never really continued learning and feel a lot has gone out my head along with my confidence. So I’m starting again.
This morning at the supermarket the checkout guy said something about my peperoni ( that was about the only word I made out ). Red face, Mi dispiace, non capito. It can be so frustrating.
P.s Daniel, thank you for replying to my email. It was very helpful!
Daniel says
Hi Emily, e benvenuta!
So, you’re in Italy right now? Are you taking a course? There will be a lot of people here who envy you….
About confidence in speaking, take a look at this article on ‘The Silent Period‘.
A presto!
Daniel
Emily says
Sì, sono in Italia. Sono in Toscana.
No, not doing a course. Il mio ragazzo ha un lavoro qui. I have enquired to a few language schools but they are so expensive, I could probably attend a course for about a month but planning to learn as much as possible on my own with the internet.
The silent period article was very helpful, thank you! At least I know this is just a phase ha!
Really enjoying the exercises on here although struggled a bit with the passato prossimo!
Daniel says
Bella, Toscana!
A month’s course would be a good investment, and prices are lower in Tuscany than elsewhere.. Florence, for example, is packed with schools that compete on price. And some of them are good – you’d learn a lot faster, that way.
All that said, I’ve never done a course, and run a site offering free materials, so I guess I shouldn’t push you.
What do other people think?
Emily says
Ciao!!
Well weirdly enough a language school in Pisa got back to me yesterday ( after waiting about 2 weeks ) and want me to go for an entry test tomorrow morning to determine what class I will be joining!
I was wondering on my previous comment ” Sì, sono in Italia. Sono in Toscana.”
Should I have used Di or Che to join the sentence?
Daniel says
I’m not sure that either ‘di’ or ‘che’ would have worked there, Emily. What about:
“Sono in Italia, in Toscana.”
Italians make liberal use of commas…