Ever dreamt of building yourself a second home?

Thanks in advance to Anne in Chicago, who will no doubt point out that in the USA you say ‘dreamed’.

I know that. But people all over the world read these articles, and I have to spell it one way or the other, don’t I?

It’s like Catalogue / Catalog – I vary it. Deliberately.

Just because.

Which reminds me, Friday (on Friday for British people) I’ll be turning off the coupon code on Italian/English parallel texts.

So if you want some, cheaper than usual, act now!

Full details, including the coupon code, are in last Wednesday’s article:

NEW: Quattordici (& 25% Off Italian/English Parallel Texts)

So where were we?

Ever dreamt of building yourself a second home?

I know I have.

Obviously, just BUYING one is out of the question, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

And anyway, building your dream house – in the country maybe, by a lake, perhaps – would be a great experience!

You could get it exactly how you wanted it. A porch to sit and drink beer on, a wine cellar, a stonking great kitchen…

Doing it yourself would mean learning loads about design, and building techniques, which sounds cool.

And your colleagues, friends and family would be so impressed!

On the other hand, it ain’t gonna get done overnight…

At a minimum, it’d mean evenings, weekends and holidays for a year or more.

I saw a feature on Swedish TV about a guy who’s converting a 30-metre-high, disused concrete water tower into HIS dream home.

Basically by building a wooden shack on top of it, without any help.

I wonder what his wife thinks.

For the feature, they had to take the TV pictures from a helicopter.

And the interviewer was forced to climb thirty metres of ladders to ask her questions, in a room with no glass in the windows and with electric cables dangling from the unfinished ceiling.

Yes, it’s taking longer than I imagined, he admitted.

And no, the lift hasn’t been installed yet – I’m temporarily short of cash.

When will you be able to move in?

Another year, I hope.

But he looked very cheerful about it!

So what WOULD you need to build yourself a second home?

I think we’re agreed: lots and lots of time.

And you’d have to have masses of motivation to give up all that free time, when you could be drinking beer or kicking a ball about with the kids from next door.

Insomma, constructing your second home will mean dreaming long-term.

And knowing for certain, or at least with a reasonable probability, that you’ll stay interested enough to carry the project through to completion.

That doesn’t sound like you?

Me either.

Let’s give up now!

Someone at the back there has their hand up. I haven’t managed to put them off, I see.

What about money? Technical skills? Muscles?

Beh, I guesss that if you make a realistic plan that matches your resources, and have some patience, you’d probabably get there in the end, money-wise.

If you can’t be bothered to learn to wire up your penthouse, you could always hire someone.

Maybe you could make a deal with an electrician? Trade him or her a few weeks each year in the finished property in exchange for help getting it done?

I’m told muscles grow, if you use them.

There are bound to be websites that’ll tell you everything you need to know to make a start.

But as I said, I’ve put the idea out of my head.

I’ll spend my holidays right here at the computer, writing about language learning.

It’s cheaper, and less sweaty.

Someone else has their hand up.

Yes?

How do you learn Italian?

Well…