Dante il gatto vagante of course, not Dante the writer who died in 1321.
I published the free sample chapter on Friday, you’ll remember. Several people wrote to say they liked it.
Download it here (.pdf) if you missed it.
‘In via eccezionale’, because we’re talking cats here, which I know is a very SERIOUS topic for many of you (there are loads of cats, and ‘cat ladies’, in our street), I’m going to copy and paste chapter 2 below.
That’s two free chapters then, truly the bargain of the century!
Leaving six more you’ll need to pay for if Dante’s predicament grips you as hard as it did me.
The full version of the ebook will sell at our usual ‘easy reader’ price of £7.99 from next week on.
But this first week only, it’s 25% off (I have to find some cash to pay the author), so just £5.99!
Which works out at a quid each for the remaining chapters – and what can you get for a measly pound these days?
Well, actually… in Italy, you could get a litre of cheap red wine. Which isn’t bad. Or a kilo of pasta…
Talking of money, my eldest daughter tells me that pricing things at .99 is cheap.
According to her, I should price my first volume of poems at £12, rather than £11.99 or £12.99 as instinct would have it.
And she should know, because she’s at UNIVERSITY!
Studying marketing? I ask.
Economics (and stuff), she tells me.
But they’ll get to marketing eventually, when they’ve finished all of economics.
For now, then, I’ll keep being cheap.
And £12, for a .pdf of poems by someone you’ve never heard of?
That seems pretty cheeky.
But still, that’s what the dark art of marketing is for.
And there’s time to raise my profile (see today’s P.S.).
So back to Dante – the second free chapter is here below.
If you like it, do me a favor and buy a copy – otherwise…
one of the neighbours’ cats goes down the well!
Followed by another, and another each day until I’ve recouped my investment.
Capitolo 2. Una gita a sorpresa
Listen to this story: https://soundcloud.com/onlineitalianclub/sets/dante-gatto-vagante
“E ora cosa faccio? Dove andrà questa barca?” pensa Dante impaurito.
Il barcaiolo non si è accorto di nulla e continua a timonare la barca. Il viaggio dura circa venti minuti ma a Dante sembra un’eternità. Rimane nascosto tra le pieghe della coperta, paralizzato tra le casse di frutta e verdura. Non può certamente fuggire da lì: c’è solo acqua intorno a lui!
Mentre pensa così la barca rallenta, il barcaiolo ormeggia e fischiettando inizia a scaricare le casse. Improvvisamente nota un gomitolo di pelo bianco e nero nascosto in un angolo.
“E questo? Che ci fa un gatto qui?” esclama il barcaiolo, “Volevi farti una gita a Murano? Micio… micio… vieni qui!”
Il barcaiolo si avvicina e prova a prenderlo, ma Dante, in preda al terrore, salta fuori dalla barca, atterra sulla calle e scappa a gambe levate.
Corri corri, arriva in campo Campo San Donato. Vede che il portone della Basilica dei Santi Maria e Donato è aperto, quindi si avvicina guardingo ed entra silenziosamente.
“Non c’è nessuno” pensa “per il momento mi nasconderò qui.”
Si intrufola sotto l’altare e si accovaccia.
Che stanchezza, povero Dante. E quante emozioni!
impaurito: scared, afraid of
timonare: to steer a boat
gomitolo: ball of strings
intrufolarsi: to sneak up
Riordina le frasi:
1. non si è / la barca/ accorto di nulla / Il barcaiolo/ a timonare / e continua
2. sembra / ma a Dante / circa venti minuti / Il viaggio dura/ un’eternità
3. inizia / e fischiettando / le casse / Il barcaiolo ormeggia / a scaricare
4. un gomitolo di / nero nascosto / Improvvisamente nota / pelo bianco e / in un angolo
5. dalla barca, / calle e scappa / preda al terrore, / Dante, in / atterra sulla / a gambe levate / salta fuori
6. Basilica dei Santi / Vede che il / Maria e Donato / è aperto / portone della
- Buy ‘Dante, gatto vagante’, just £5.99
- Browse the ‘Learn Italian‘ section of our shop
My wife likes the SHORTER poems, she tells me. After all, with so much to watch on Netflix, who has time to read these days?
My teacher colleague, in contrast, likes the long ones, which make her giggle.
Which just goes to show, doesn’t it?
You can’t please all of the people, all of the time.
Here are the two I market-tested on those ladies.
Which do YOU prefer?
The poems that were here are now to be found on these pages:
Lynne F says
HI Daniel, I prefer your second Poem. The final verse swung it for me. As a retired Early Years teacher the image in my head, well it really made me laugh.
Thanks for the feedback, Lynne. I have several poems ready specifically about teaching and/or interacting with kids that age, which is the biggest challenge of my week! Look out for more free samples!
Margaret Smart says
Great poem”I was giving it some thought” as have this conversation with my children who were mortified that I didn’t want A traditional funeral at all but just a discreet trip to the crematorium and then chuck the ashes to the wind over the cliffs [making sure that the wind is blowing in the right direction]Made me laugh.Thanks
Mi sa che hai visto The Big Lebowski.
Talking of the sea, what about having someone bake them into a Cornish pasty, then let a seagull steal it. Who knows where you’d end up.
Both are impressive. To choose between them is a bit like choosing between cheese and chocolate.
No contest then, Donna. I have a fridge packed with stilton, roquefort, gorgonzola and the like.
Thanks for the feedback, though!
I loved both. The first was quite thoughtful but the second made me laugh. I too was an early years teacher and would suggest adding a bit of glitter to the ash to be sprinkled as I believe you can never have too much sparkle in an early years classroom.
What a good idea, Helen! I’ll look out for glitter and give it a try!
And thanks for the feedback on the poems.
Lewis Savage says
Hi Daniel, The second poem rang some bells with me as it’s a subject I’ve been giving some thought to myself. ‘No frills cremations are available in the UK nowadays, no service ,no fancy cars, not sure about the wooden box. They just collect the remains and return the ashes to your nearest and dearest, who can have a ‘ knees up’ with what they save. I would like to be incorporated with some potting compost , placed in a terracotta pot and an olive tree planted in it. Just think you’ll be helping to produce olive oil for the next few hundred years.
Yes, it seems to have been a popular subject. But an olive tree, haven’t you heard? There’s some terrible bug going round…
Think big, like astronomer Eugene Shoemaker, whose remains impacted the moon in 1999.