Buondì.

Since Bug left us a week or so ago, I’ve had much more time, and surprisingly – given not having slept through the night for more than two months – more energy, to work.

And so, on to the mountain of jobs and projects (a project is defined by containing many jobs) that have been on hold, or merely aspirational, for several years now.

One of those is sorting out our mailing systems. If you’re reading this in an email, then that’s the output from one of our two systems. The crappier one.

I won’t name it, but back in April 2023 they changed their technology, the result of which was that while their system still emailed out articles from the club website (like this one), it no longer provided me with any data whatsoever.

I used to rely on the basic information they offered – for instance the % of recipients who opened an email/clicked a link – to see how I was doing. Whether a particular topic or promotion was popular, or whether thousands of people just sighed over their breakfast cereals and ignored what I’d written.

I protested to ‘Support’, who didn’t even seem to be aware that there was a problem, and cared less. The mailing system’s ‘Dashboard’ is still to this day showing the stats for an article I wrote in April, the last one before they changed the system, titled ‘Latest’. The buttons on the dashboard screen (‘View recent articles’) don’t do what they used to, or even anything.

It took me a while to figure out that this wasn’t a joke, or a technical glitch at my end, and as I said, the articles kept getting sent, so it wasn’t an issue that needed urgent attention (unlike the three-hourly biberon).

But having asked for a discount to reflect the reduced functionality, and been brushed off, getting rid of these guys rose steadily to the top of my list.

But…

This reminds me of my Italian father-in-law, who’s in his mid-eighties but still a person to be reckoned with, not one willing to be pushed around, always quick to ask for a discount or for an exception to be made in his case. I’ve learnt a lot from him, over the years. Above all, he’s kind (which I’m not…)

Recently he had problems with his home phone/internet connection and so – advised by friends from his bar or poolhall that an alternative provider was better – did the ‘disdetta’ on his current phone supplier, so as to immediately move his number to the new people.

They gave him an appointment for their engineer to come by and connect the phone and data connection – for A MONTH LATER!

So now they have no phone, no internet, no anything, basically. And we’ll be staying over at Natale…

Not fazed, my father-in-law went out and bought a device that would connect to his wife’s iPad so she could watch Swedish TV and so on. To restore a little peace and quiet, I suppose.

But of course, setting it up was more complicated and confusing than he’d hoped, and…

The lesson? Leave things as they are, at least until you have a big gap in your diary, and the mental energy to deal with things going wrong. Both of those I now have.

Besides the club, I had perhaps twenty mailing lists running off this now sadly-deficient bulk mailing system, things I’d set up over the years and then mostly neglected. Over the weekend I started backing them up, deactivating the lists, and where appropriate, moving them to our other (better but more expensive) bulk email sender.

All except the club, which I left until last, as it’s so precious, so should ideally be protected from technical mess ups.

The problem with the club list is that it’s too large – there are around seventeen thousand of you, though what percentage actually read these articles, since April 2023 I now have no way of knowing.

The other, better, more expensive system would likely be happy to have you all! Delighted, as another 17k ‘subscribers’ would mean they could charge me multiple thosands of dollars extra each year.

But hey, money isn’t everything, right? The problem, in particular, though, is that they charge based on the number of subscribers AND a maxium number of emails sent each month, currently a quarter of a million, which is usually about right.

For many years I’ve been writing articles like this one three times a week, fifty-two weeks a year. Say 12-13 emails a month, to seventeen thousand people, that comes to over two hundred thousand emails just for the club.

So, I started by spring-cleaning the other lists on the better, more expensive system, spending Sunday afternoon deleting subscribers who never appeared to open emails to those lists.

That freed up space in my ‘number of subscribers’ quota to squeeze in seventeen thousand of you guys. One problem solved!

And the monthly maximum number of emails? Which would be busted wide open during the up-coming seasonal promotions if I kept writing articles like this one?

Basically it comes down to paying double, or writing fewer articles. I put it to my wife, and she was FIRMLY of the opinion that the later would be better (she gave up reading my stuff years back – too many emails, and she’s heard it all already at home…)

But which day or days should I write, I asked her. Ideally it would be Tuesdays and Thursdays, to space it out a bit, and avoid Monday and Friday mornings, when I’d rather just yawn and roll over (but haven’t done, not for years.)

But Tuesdays and Thursdays are EasyItalianNews.com days, she pointed out. People won’t want to be bothered with your stuff if they have the bulletins to read/listen to.

She’s correct, of course. So that leaves Wednesdays. Assuming there are four, maximum five, of them each month, and asssuming furthermore that when the list moves to the better, more expensive bulk mailing system I’ll be able to see the stats one more, I should be able to squeeze the club in, along with the other, more directly promotional lists ( for instance EasyReaders.org, and NativeSpeakerTeachers.com.

So, Wednesdays from now on? No more Monday or Friday articles, for the time being at least.

With the freed-up time, I propose tidying up the club website, and perhaps spending more time at our Italian school, which also needs a new mailing system and a spruced up website, after years of neglect…

It never stops!

A mercoledì.

P.S.

We’re still going with the two seasonal, half-price ‘Ebooks of the Week offer, which runs until Sunday 17th December. Get them while they’re CHEAP, at just £4.99 per ebook.

N.b. Both titles have sold well on previous occasions, so it’s likely regular ebook buyers will already have them (please check before you buy…)

The first story is Natale a sorpresa, and the level is B2.

Matteo’s supposed to be writing a book – he has a deadline coming up – but he’s suffering terribly from writers’ block. All he can do is stare at a blank computer screen. He’s recently out of a relationship, which hasn’t helped…

Worse, it’s December and Christmas is coming! Normally Matteo spends the festive season with his family, but this year they’re visiting relatives in Australia. So it looks as if he’ll be celebrating alone.

Then he has an idea. He’ll call his best friend Filippo, who’ll surely be able to help! Perhaps they can spend Christmas at Filippo’s place in the mountains, or take a trip somewhere…

• .pdf e-book (+ audio available free online)
• .mobi (Kindle-compatible) and .epub (other ebook readers) available on request at no extra charge – just add a note to the order form or email us
• 8 chapters to read and listen to
• Comprehension questions to check your understanding
• Italian/English glossary of ‘difficult’ terms for the level
• Suitable for students at intermediate level or above
• Download your Free Sample Chapter (.pdf)

Buy Natale a sorpresa, just £4.99! | Free sample chapter (.pdf) | Catalog

And the second?

A week after Natale comes Capodanno (New Year) so half-price ebook no. 2 is Giallo a Capodanno, level B2/C1 (slightly harder).

“Sbrigati Alida, o arriveremo in ritardo alla festa di Capodanno!” ripete nervosamente Martina alla sua compagna di stanza. Alida sta sdraiata sul letto con un libro di Agatha Christie fra le mani. Si toglie pigramente gli occhiali da lettura e guarda fuori dalla finestra: “Nevica ancora, che incubo!”

It’s New Year 1970 and Martina’s all dressed up for the party, determined to enjoy it! But her roommate, Alida is more cynical:

“Ascolta: siamo bloccati dalla neve in un collegio in cui viviamo tutto l’anno. Dei duecento alunni che frequentano la scuola, solo sette (sette, porca miseria!) hanno dei genitori che non li vogliono tra i piedi nemmeno durante le feste. E noi siamo tra questi sette. Quindi puoi anche vestirti come Marilyn Monroe… ma rimani una disgraziata!”

Alida would rather read detective thrillers than pretend to have fun with just six fellow students. But who knows? Perhaps something interesting will happen?

• .pdf e-book (+ audio available free online)
• .mobi (Kindle-compatible) and .epub (other ebook readers) available on request at no extra charge – just add a note to the order form or email us
• 8 chapters to read and listen to
• Comprehension questions to check your understanding
• Italian/English glossary of ‘difficult’ terms for the level
• Suitable for students at upper-intermediate level or above
• Download your Free Sample Chapter (.pdf)

Buy Giallo a Capodanno, just £4.99! | Free sample chapter (.pdf) | Catalog

How do I access my ebooks?

When your order is ‘completed’ (normally immediately after your payment), a download link will be automatically emailed to you. It’s valid for 7 days and 3 download attempts so please save a copy of the .pdf ebook in a safe place. Other versions of the ebook, where available, cannot be downloaded but will be emailed to people who request them. There’s a space to do that on the order form – where it says Additional information, Order notes (optional). If you forget, or if you have problems downloading the .pdf, don’t worry! Email us at the address on the website and we’ll help. Also, why not check out our FAQ?

P.P.S.

Did you read/listen to Saturday’s FREE bulletin of ‘easy’ Italian news?

Subscribers get three FREE bulletins each week, on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. The idea is that, if you make a habit of reading/listening to them, after a few months you’ll notice your comprehension skills are improving.

Subscribe here.

+++

OnlineItalianClub.com | EasyItalianNews.com | Shop (ebooks) | Shop (online lessons)

Buondì.

Good morning from Italy, where we’re all having a lie-in today, as probably are the inhabitants of Andorra, Argentina, Austria, Chile, Colombia, Equatorial Guinea, Guam (USA), Italy, Liechtenstein, Macau (China), Malta, Monaco, Nicaragua, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Portugal, San Marino, Seychelles, Spain, Switzerland, East Timor, Vatican City, and Venezuela.

Enjoy!

Commiserations to the rest of the world, who (according to Wikipedia) don’t take a day off each December 8th with the excuse that it’s the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Have a nice commute!

What’s ‘immaculate conception’ all about, anyway? To me it sounds like an ad for a personal hygiene product got mixed up with one promoting a fertility clinic. Really spotless IVF!

On many occasions over the decades, I’ve invited my Italian students to enlighten me, and respectfully kept a straight face while they tried, but so far, no joy. I more-or-less get that it’s something very Catholic, very complicated, and – for those of us who aren’t believers – very improbable.

Still, a public holiday is a public holiday! So yesterday afternoon I vacuumed, with the idea of rendering our home slighly more immaculate than it usually isn’t. This because, for us, December 8th is ‘Putting up the Christmas tree day’. Hurrah! It’s the start of Christmas/New Year!

And putting up the Christmas tree means moving furniture closer together in our pokey living space, so revealing a mass of dust bunnies, spiders webs (with actual spiders running hither and thither), grit from the wheels of Bug’s stroller, and – it being autumn – leaves blown in through the front door. Hence the vacuuming.

The Christmas tree and decorations live in an above-head-level storage area in my ‘office’, which is itself located in the garage, in the only corner not otherwise occupied by bicycles, a freezer chest (switched off, to save Ukraine), my motorbike, and bags of Bug’s stuff waiting to be stored away.

This morning then, I’ll be climbing up there, and I mean that literally, starting by standing on my desk, then reaching up to grab onto a large spike, which was nailed into a wooden ceiling beam a hundred years back – when the garage was still a stable – by some practical fellow who wanted to hang something up out of reach of hungry animals, or shorter co-workers.

No really! My ‘office’ has iron rings set into the walls, for tying horses to! Isn’t that quaint? Indeed it is, but bloody cold in the winter, and way too hot in the summer. Spring, though short, is just the right temperature, but then I’m allergic, so sneezing too violently to appreciate it.

Once I’ve managed to haul my 85kg/187lbs up above head-level, I’ll rest for a moment, then seek out the festive decorations, so folded plastic tree, colored lights to decorate it with, and a heavy plastic box containing miscellaneous crap, all of which I will carefully pass down to excited family members. They, in turn, will pass up Bug’s stroller and miscellaneous bulky items of, and bags packed with, small-animal-rearing equipment.

E così. Stefi and Tom (voice of EasyItalianNews.com) will take it from there, while I figure out how to get back down again without hospitalizing myself, and if I manage that, open a cold beer to hydrate while I get the lunch on. Don’t you just love public holidays?

By the way, ‘Taking down the Christmas tree day’ is January 6th, which is Epiphany, another handy, Catholic day-off-work. I expect, by then, we’ll be happy to move the couch and armchairs back to their usual positions, cut down on the seasonally-elevated daily calorie intake, and get on with the business of 2024.

A lunedì.

P.S. Another reminder about our two seasonal, half-price ‘Ebooks of the Week’…

The half-price offer on our two seasonal ‘Ebooks of the Week’ runs for another week yet – until Sunday 17th December – so here’s yet another reminder to snap up your discounted reading/listening material while it’s CHEAP, just £4.99 per ebook.

N.b. Both titles have sold well on previous occasions, so it’s likely regular ebook buyers will already have them (please check before you buy…)

The first story is Natale a sorpresa, and the level is B2.

Matteo’s supposed to be writing a book – he has a deadline coming up – but he’s suffering terribly from writers’ block. All he can do is stare at a blank computer screen. He’s recently out of a relationship, which hasn’t helped…

Worse, it’s December and Christmas is coming! Normally Matteo spends the festive season with his family, but this year they’re visiting relatives in Australia. So it looks as if he’ll be celebrating alone.

Then he has an idea. He’ll call his best friend Filippo, who’ll surely be able to help! Perhaps they can spend Christmas at Filippo’s place in the mountains, or take a trip somewhere…

• .pdf e-book (+ audio available free online)
• .mobi (Kindle-compatible) and .epub (other ebook readers) available on request at no extra charge – just add a note to the order form or email us
• 8 chapters to read and listen to
• Comprehension questions to check your understanding
• Italian/English glossary of ‘difficult’ terms for the level
• Suitable for students at intermediate level or above
• Download your Free Sample Chapter (.pdf)

Buy Natale a sorpresa, just £4.99! | Free sample chapter (.pdf) | Catalog

And the second?

A week after Natale comes Capodanno (New Year) so half-price ebook no. 2 is Giallo a Capodanno, level B2/C1 (slightly harder).

“Sbrigati Alida, o arriveremo in ritardo alla festa di Capodanno!” ripete nervosamente Martina alla sua compagna di stanza. Alida sta sdraiata sul letto con un libro di Agatha Christie fra le mani. Si toglie pigramente gli occhiali da lettura e guarda fuori dalla finestra: “Nevica ancora, che incubo!”

It’s New Year 1970 and Martina’s all dressed up for the party, determined to enjoy it! But her roommate, Alida is more cynical:

“Ascolta: siamo bloccati dalla neve in un collegio in cui viviamo tutto l’anno. Dei duecento alunni che frequentano la scuola, solo sette (sette, porca miseria!) hanno dei genitori che non li vogliono tra i piedi nemmeno durante le feste. E noi siamo tra questi sette. Quindi puoi anche vestirti come Marilyn Monroe… ma rimani una disgraziata!”

Alida would rather read detective thrillers than pretend to have fun with just six fellow students. But who knows? Perhaps something interesting will happen?

• .pdf e-book (+ audio available free online)
• .mobi (Kindle-compatible) and .epub (other ebook readers) available on request at no extra charge – just add a note to the order form or email us
• 8 chapters to read and listen to
• Comprehension questions to check your understanding
• Italian/English glossary of ‘difficult’ terms for the level
• Suitable for students at upper-intermediate level or above
• Download your Free Sample Chapter (.pdf)

Buy Giallo a Capodanno, just £4.99! | Free sample chapter (.pdf) | Catalog

How do I access my ebooks?

When your order is ‘completed’ (normally immediately after your payment), a download link will be automatically emailed to you. It’s valid for 7 days and 3 download attempts so please save a copy of the .pdf ebook in a safe place. Other versions of the ebook, where available, cannot be downloaded but will be emailed to people who request them. There’s a space to do that on the order form – where it says Additional information, Order notes (optional). If you forget, or if you have problems downloading the .pdf, don’t worry! Email us at the address on the website and we’ll help. Also, why not check out our FAQ?

P.P.S.

Did you read/listen to Thursday’s FREE bulletin of ‘easy’ Italian news yesterday?

Subscribers get three FREE bulletins each week, on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. The idea is that, if you make a habit of reading/listening to them, after a few months you’ll notice your comprehension skills are improving.

Subscribe here.

+++

OnlineItalianClub.com | EasyItalianNews.com | Shop (ebooks) | Shop (online lessons)