Buondì.

Today’s canto from Dante’s Inferno (Canto XV) is salacious, to say the least.

Dante bumps into one of his former teachers, whose fate is to “vagare senza mai fermarsi per la landa desertica, sotto la pioggia di fiamme” (roam the desert without ever stopping under the rain of fire).

But what’s the poor man done?

Dante is sad but not surprised at his maestro’s fate: “i fiorentini erano famosi in tutta Europa perché praticavano il sesso anale”, apparently.

And that’ll get you non-stop flame-grilled desert-wandering!

Anyway, it turns out that this particular circle of hell is full of “cherci e litterati grandi e di gran fama” (clerics and famous writers).

Including… Well, you’ll never guess who!

Him? Really? Well, I can’t say that’s a surprise… We all knew, didn’t we?

But Dante, you gossip, you are wicked!

(Who else did you see there??)

Canto XV | Literature page (which I may now rename ‘Sodomy Corner’ or some such…)

E poi, Monday we have a new ebook out.

Here’s a sneek preview:

Why does a village traffic accident, which results in no injuries besides some damage to a roadside oak tree, have everyone so worried?

Luisa, who’s spending a month with her grandparents, will keep asking questions until someone tells her what’s going on!

What is ‘Il mistero della quercia’?

What indeed? Looks like good stuff, huh?

Oh all right, you convinced me!

For those that prefer mysteries to medieval gossip, here’s the Free Sample Chapter (.pdf).

The complete version of the ebook (including Kindle and other ebook reader compatible formats) will be out on Monday.

And at a special launch price!

So that’s two things to read today.

Plus, when you’re done with tittle-tattle, and the whodunit, don’t forget to listen to Thursday’s bulletin of ‘easy’ Italian news.

It’s free. And very, very useful for developing listening skills.

Bene, that’s more or less it for this week!

A lunedì, allora.

Buon fine settimana.

(This article contains ‘cuss words’. You have been advised…)

Buondì.

I’ve just spent the last half hour checking words I didn’t know from the latest installment of Dante’s Inferno, Canto XIV.

(Catch up with the series so far on our new ‘Italian Literature‘ page.)

‘Empio’, for example, which means impious (like an imp, I suppose, so devilish?) or ‘ungodly’.

And ‘bestemmiatore’, which I sort of knew, as I’m always being told off for bestemmi-ing in front of the children, staff or customers (= ‘swearing’ or ‘blaspheming’).

There were several more, but of course, that’s part of the attraction of Dante – seeing how the language has changed, and recognising the roots of modern words, both in English and Italian.

Besides that, I’m getting a free education in the classics! Today we have Capaneo, who I confess – product of a British comprehensive school that I am – to never having come across before.

Now poor Capaneo cusses out Zeus, I think it was, but ends up in hell anyway, despite the fact that the whole ‘facenda’ was centuries before Christianity even got going.

Seems rather unfair to me, though Dante thought it reasonable enough.

Talking of blasphemers, I Googled ‘bestemmiatore’ and found the ‘Bestemiatore automatico‘ – a cursing machine!

If you like a good swear, check it out (if you’re a sensitive soul, don’t.)

Pressing the red button, labelled ‘Bestemmia’ got me “Dio bastardo”, pronounced in a teacherly voice, (which I definitely wouldn’t be allowed to say at home or work…)

The other button, ‘Bestemmia No Stop’, starts like this:

“Partiamo con le bestemmie: Dio cane…”

…and gets much worse (and in parts, much funnier!)

Much more wholesome is a suggestion emailed by Penny, a YouTube video of ‘Inferno’, in English and with explanations.

I got five or ten minutes into it but stopped because I had something on the stove. However,  I was pleased to have recognised quite a lot from Canto I, which shows I’ve learnt something!

Thanks Penny.

Bene allora, here are those links again:

Canto XIV | Italian Literature page

And of course, don’t forget to listen to Tuesday’s bulletin of ‘easy’ Italian news from EasyItalianNews.com.

Which made me sigh when, in the article about Peter Fonda’s death, they mentioned ‘Dennis Jopper’.

“Porca cane!” I shouted out to the editor, who was knitting peacefully in an adjoining room, “Don’t you know it’s Dennis Hopper?’

Nope, she’d never heard of him.

And, clearly, neither had the writer of the article.

I wonder if Jeff Bezos has this problem with the Washington Post?

A mercoledì.